assalamualaikum..
dah lama aku tak menulis..
a lot of things happened..
dont know where to start, dont know what to think..mm..
when i look back then.. make me wondering.. make me fall into deep thoughts..
what had happened to me? whats going on exactly?..
thoughts like am i wrong?.. what i supposed to do?='(
at first, i thought, i could accept it, i thought it gonna be easy..
i thought i can just let it go immediately..
erased everything like it never existed..
im wrong! its even harder than i think...
without im realized, i become a rebel person..
i feel angry.. but i dont know to whom..huhu.. i just lost..
there is someone who is screaming inside..pretend like i dont care.. ='(
astaghfirullah.. may Allah forgive me..
yeah, i did wrong!
benarlah kata orang hati tu raja dalam diri manusia..
bile kesedihan teramat menguasai diri..
hilang lah ketenangan hati.. =(
it hurts me when i dont get what i keep on praying.. cause i really want it.. huhu.. astaghfirullah..
astaghfirullah..shame of me..
now i realized.. ikhlas itu payah..
but..
i keep on praying that..
ya Allah, Kau permudahkan lah untuk aku, ikhlaskanlah hati aku tuk menerima ketentuanMu,
Kau yang hadirkan perasaan ini, Kau juga yang menghapuskan perasaan ini..
Cinta dan rindu.. perasaan yang tak pernah aku terfikir that i gonna deadly attached..
ia juga tanggungjawab.. i should keep it nicely and appreciate it..
i cant pretend like i dont care when my heart really cares..
but i have to accept it, learn to let go.. lets time fly.. akan tiba masanya nanti..
just bear in mind..
Maybe Allah didnt give you everything you want..
but He certainly gave you everything you need.. =)
*ya Tuhan, ketenangan hati yang ku cari, tenangkanlah hati aku, Kau berikanlah kebahagiaan kepadanya kerana aku jua akan merasainya..lindungilah dirinya sepertimana Kau melindungi aku..ampunkanlah segala dosa kami, bimbinglah kami..='(
